Nahh I haven’t posted much lately yeah but still it should be like forever down your dashboard like sometimes I can’t get to the end of where I was three hours before refreshing in like a day omg
But that was like forever ago! how even was that “this weekend’s posts”??? he saw it was mine and has tormented me for it ever since :c
No that’s fine but were you scrolling through my blog again because that was forever ago and wtf is up with everyone talking about my blog
i like sucking dick because of the control i have over boys. i got their dick and balls in my mouth. i could just bite down right now and end it all
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
butts are nice
male butts are all muscular and hard and female butts are soft and squishy and great. leave no butt untouched
no butt shall go untouched
why are you on anonnn?
Oh my god
Thank you anon <3
The human body is fascinating
I keep telling people this shit in real life and they don’t believe me.
I’ve seen it from multiple sources, and this just adds another (albeit usually unreliable) source.
This is actually legit, guys. This is how your eyes move when you’re thinking about something. It’s actually a good way to tell if someone is lying or not, because they’ll look to their left (your right, durr) when they’re constructing false memories, and to their right when they’re actually remembering them.
HOLY CRAP. SAVING THIS FOR FUTURE REF.
i use this a lot actually